Elven Fascination

Now's not the time for talking
Now's the time for dying

Up out of the dirt hole
Packed smooth and hard we crawled
Out into a basement
Where barrels sat to rot
As Thraknar checks them out
Up the old cobwebbed stairs
Jasper creeps up quiet
To see what could be there

A whisper of movement
But Jasper doesn't see
Until the knife is pressed
At his throat he could bleed
It's time to die now says
A woman holding knife
So Jasper resorts to
Manners and begs for life

As the sound drifts down stairs
Of a real lady's voice
Jim races up in haste
Scrambles upstairs in joy
Past Thraknar and Aedric
Cleanly vaults over both
Smiles, how you doin'?
A charming voice of hope

Alanna, new and different, your shape a delight
Elven ears are sharp enough, please put down the knife
You're so fascinating, like nothing Jim has known
Meant to be straight combat, but the dice said no

Alanna stops, steps back
Jim calmly meets her gaze
He's polite and charming
But she's still too enraged
He explains why they're there
But she denies his tale
Says we're there to rob her
The gem is not for sale

Jim explains we're seeking
For stolen goods ourselves
Looking for a gadget
She says the gem's for elves
Strange gleam in the corner
It catches Jasper's eye
The rest enter the room
And the Eclipse is nigh

A thump sounds from upstairs
A Groakun doffs disguise
Adorable fluffball
With softly shining eyes
The elf gives us one chance
She says to turn and leave
But Ari leaps forward
Her goal almost in reach

Alanna, new and different, your shape a delight
Elven ears are sharp enough, please put down the knife
You're so fascinating, like nothing Jim has known
Meant to be straight combat, now the dice say go

As Alanna stops her
By blocking Ari's trick
Groakun turns all pointy
But they forgot Jim Quick
Shouting out to hold it
The elf freezes in place
Held by his charisma
Jim begs her to please wait

Ari smacks the Groakun
As Aedric rushes past
But the elf was faking
And gives him quite a whack
With sassy wink to Jim
Who gives a gallant bow
As Jasper disappears
And Thraknar knocks her down

Before she can get up
Jim speedily runs past
Groakun's out of moves
As Jim sits on her ass
To pin her to the ground
He's quite a heavy weight
Room explodes, indignant
Alanna can't escape

Alanna, new and different, your shape a delight
Elven ears are sharp enough, please put down the knife
You're so fascinating, like nothing Jim has known
He doesn't want to fight you, again his dice say so

Shouts of consent is important
Alanna's struggles cease
Jim becomes all too aware
The nature of his seat
Alanna embarrassed
Jim mutters to the ground
Now the robot never
Will let me live this down

Groakun feels the onslaught
And keens as it's pushed back
Alanna shouts enough
Time freezes in its tracks
Wriggles out from under
Jim'll treasure all his life
She turns and with a frown
Draws execution knife

Everyone we can see
Is locked into their place
Alanna says well fought
Something opens the case
Jasper was forgotten
Picks up the shining gem
Click sounds from Ari's chest
Jasper sticks it in

The world explodes in thunder
Blast of light from Ari's chest
Ari's magic power flows
She hears the true architect
Glass around us shatters down
Alanna's thrown, she falls
Our patron at last revealed
The wisdom controls all

Alanna, did the best you can, you're dragged up out of sight
Even human ears could hear your body thrown outside
You weren't strong enough to stop us, I hope we'll meet again
So until the next time, thanks
Your frenemy
Signed Jim

Alanna, new and different, you put up quite a fight
Smooth and fast and graceful, quiet as the night
Elves so fascinating, like nothing Jim had known
He can't help but wonder but the dice say nope
The dice say nope

I'm not a little pervert
Heh, I'm a big one