Good Ol' Big Head Boys Club
We finally found the thing we'd been chasing, and Ar3 immediately shut down. Then a very polite voice at the door told us we were trespassing. In the fight that followed, none of us could hit anything, so Jim spent three straight rounds using his bard insult spell on Thracknar. Out of the fire and into the frying pan, which was this party's natural habitat.
We'd just found the Eclipse
When Ari locked up and shut down
Thraknar picked her up
To lug her back to town
When from the doorway a noise
Someone cleared their throat polite
Said now y'all are trespassin'
Best come out in the light
From the fire to the fryin' pan
Aye, there's the rub
Now we're at the mercy of
The good ol' big head boys' club
We heard a cockin' shotgun
So we all raised our hands
We walked out to the light
Saw a whole hillbilly band
They had five teeth between them
They weren't smellin' so good
Over back behind them
Elf ran off to the woods
From the fire to the fryin' pan
Aye, there's the rub
Now we're standing before
The good ol' big head boys' club
Their leader said you owe us toll
Jim said we ain't got much
Their daddy scratched his chin and
Said they collected stuff
Artistic sculptures
Like that there lady-bot
Ayy-drick clenched his fists in rage
And Jim said, tell you what
While he had their attention
To Thraknar he said
Guess we'll just kill them all
And make them extra-dead
From the fire to the fryin' pan
Aye, there's the rub
Now we're about to fight
The good ol' big head boys' club
Thraknar's been begging
For weeks now to have a fight
And now that the time has come
He argues instead (The fuck)
He doesn't move a muscle
He won't stand up strong
Now that lives are on the line
He won't come along
The backwoods patriarchy
Was nervous for a sec
Now they calmly smile
Assured they've got us wrecked
From the fire to the fryin' pan
Aye, there's the rub
Now we're back at the mercy of
The good ol' big head boys' club
He levels his gun at Jim
Who, angry, holds up a hand
I'll be with you in a minute
Snarls the enraged man
The fight begins in earnest
And none of us can hit
Except for Jim, who follows the dwarf
Berating him to shit
The goons all start laughing
At the comedic act
Leader drops his gun, Jim picks it up
And tries to hand it back
From the fire to the fryin' pan
Aye, there's the rub
Now we're only captives of
The good ol' big head boys' club!
All right, all right, this is absurd
Y'all might be trespassers, but you're guests in our town
The head guy stops the fight
Then says that he's Jaylin
He suggests we start over
And invites us in
We shrug and follow him inside
A gigantic head
Jim's still carrying his gun
And Jasper dangles limp
Jim explains the robot's
Like a daughter to Aedric
So we can't part with her
But he could suck some dick
From the fire to the fryin' pan
Aye, there's the rub
Jim's got few skills, but might service
The good ol' big head boys' club
Jaylin looks embarrassed
Declines and says we're good
Jim starts to realize
The power of his wood
Nobody will want a piece
Of what Jim's got to grab
So if he keeps offering
He'll never pay the tab
At that moment, Ari
Snaps open her eyes
A magic glow of gravity
Surrounds as up she rises
Jim did his very best to win
The table of negotiate
But when your opponent's the DM
It'll never turn out great
From fryin' pan to the fire
Best give the threads of fate a tug
Now we've got to get away
From the good ol' big head boys' club
The good ol' big head boys' club
Thanks for tellin' us about that tunnel to Magnupharis, though!