Nausea
Everything I'm supposed to want is right in front of me, and I still can't take a bite. That isn't ungratefulness. My brain has flipped a 'don't bother' switch, and it spoils the food before it reaches me.
The table is set with the finest porcelain
Reflecting the lights and the smiles of the kin
I pick up the fork and I lift it up high
But the connection is cut between the hand and the eye
The stomach turns over, the throat starts to close
A physical rejection that nobody knows
It looks delicious, it smells like gold
But the nausea tells me the truth is old
I cannot swallow, I cannot partake
My body is rejecting the life that I make
The Lateral Habenula is guarding the gate
It poisons the water and it poisons the plate
"Don't bother to eat, don't bother to taste"
"Every calorie here is a terrible waste"
The Anti-Reward is the chef in my head
Turning the banquet into ash and lead
I try to force it, I try to be good
I chew on the duty like a piece of dry wood
But the sweetness is blocked, the flavor is gone
Just a grey kind of static that goes on and on
They say "Count your blessings," they say "Look around"
But I’m fighting the urge to throw up on the ground
It’s a chemical blockade, a biological ban
Starving to death in the shape of a man
I cannot swallow, I cannot partake
My body is rejecting the life that I make
The Lateral Habenula is guarding the gate
It poisons the water and it poisons the plate
"Don't bother to eat, don't bother to taste"
"Every calorie here is a terrible waste"
The Anti-Reward is the chef in my head
Turning the banquet into ash and lead
Gag... reflex
System... rejects
Why... try?
The palate... is dry
It shuts it down!
It shuts it down!
The sickest man in the healthiest town!
I can't keep it down
I can't keep it down
It tastes like nothing
It tastes like nothing