God-Stag Grill
Hungry in the dark woods, Thracknar shot the biggest stag any of us had ever seen and fired up the grill. Then a lot of very big eyes showed up at the edge of the firelight. We did get away from the mutated monster cat that came for us, but in hindsight, maybe don't barbecue the god-stag.
Hungry in darkness
Antlers on the hill
Thraknar's gun speaks one time
And he fires up the grill
At the God-Stag Grill!
It's open-air cuisine
Hunger's the best seasoning
Did you hear that growling?
The mood's morose and grumpy
But the food is smellin' good
When big ol' eyes come shining out
From the nearby wood
Huge tentacle comes snaking out
Aedric doesn't move
Jim grabs onto the spit
Won't let it take our food
At the God-Stag Grill!
It's open-air cuisine
Hunger's the best seasoning
Did you hear that growling?
Thraknar's superstitious
He's wearing the antlers now
He charges at the beastie
Gets lifted off the ground
He's hanging upside down now
In the monster's grasp
As it hauls even harder and
Drags the meat into the grass
Thraknar starts some cursing
He doesn't take a breath
The flow of vile words spew forth
Shocks us half to death
He falls from in the branches
Hits a couple as he lands
But the stream of his profanity
Doesn't slacken as he stands
At the God-Stag Grill!
It's open-air cuisine
Hunger's the best seasoning
Did you hear that growling?
He lifts his axe and charges
To the space between the trees
A mighty crash and moonlight
Brings the beastie to its knees
It's horrible with boils
Grotesque and pus-filled
Misshapen and malformed
But it wants Thraknar's kill
Thraknar's having none of that
Just gives its face a whack
And as it staggers, still cursing
He takes our dinner back
That's when we head out
Leave a nice meat-smelling rock
Heading back around the trees
Hoping Ari we'll spot
Aedric's acting furtive
He's not saying much
I'm afraid these problems
Won't be solved by lunch
At the God-Stag Grill!
It's open-air cuisine
Hunger's the best seasoning
Did you hear that growling?
At the God-Stag Grill!
It's portent-full cuisine
Hunger's not the challenge
When someone is missing
Yeah, Ari's still missing