Click in the Chest

I read every book and built a cathedral of logic, and none of it changed a thing. The change came as a feeling, a click in my chest like ice finally breaking: the moment a truth finally makes the eighteen-inch trip from my head to my heart.

I read all the books and I learned all the words

I gathered the knowledge in dissonant chords
I built a cathedral of logic and fact
A perfect defense for a soul that was cracked
A click in the head was the best I could find
An intellectual answer that was never unkind
But the warden was watching behind a steel door
And I didn't know what I was fighting this for

And then came the moment, a whisper of grace
A sudden surrender in this terrible place
Not a thought in my mind, not a word I could say
Just a feeling the ice was all breaking away
It wasn't a victory, no flag was unfurled
Just a click in the chest that re-ordered the world

It felt like a gear that had slipped back in place
It felt like the sun on my terrified face
The profound and the simple, the new and the true
A single deep breath and I suddenly knew
That all of the battles, the blood and the cost
Weren't for a war that was already lost

Possibility, a word I forgot
The end of a story, the start of a plot
And the warden stands down and he walks from his post
And he gives up the ghost, he gives up the ghost

And then came the moment, a deafening grace
A total surrender in this beautiful, terrible place
Not a thought in my mind, not a word I could say
Just the feeling the ice was all breaking away
It wasn't a victory, no flag was unfurled
Just a click in the chest that re-ordered my world

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