The Maître D'
The part of me that greets everyone at the door and makes sure the evening looks perfect. He's very good at his job. The trouble is that he's so busy keeping up appearances that nobody, including me, notices I'm starving.
Five P M, the doors unlock
I straighten the tie and I check the clock
Inspect the silver, inspect the glass
Watch the shadow of the evening pass
The reservation list is full tonight
Everything has to be completely right
I am the man in the velvet coat
Keeping the luxury liner afloat
Presentation is the only law
Cover the crack and cover the flaw
Let me show you to your seat
I serve the wine, I cut the meat
The service here is world-renowned
Just don't ask why I'm looking down
I am the Maître D', I am the ghost
I am the perfect and invisible host
I manage the hunger, I manage the heat
But I never sit and I never eat
The VIPs arrive at the gate
The Wife, the Children, the heavy Fate
"Right this way," with a practiced smile
I’ve been standing here for a long, long while
I recommend the special, I pour the red
I smooth the pillow on the master bed
Anticipate the need before it’s asked
Keep the resentment fully masked
It’s a five-star rating, a diamond review
For the work that the hollowed-out servants do
Let me show you to your seat
I serve the wine, I cut the meat
The service here is world-renowned
Just don't ask why I'm looking down
I am the Maître D', I am the ghost
I am the perfect and invisible host
I manage the hunger, I manage the heat
But I never sit and I never eat
Kitchen status: Green
Hunger level: Unseen
The menu is set
The table is wet
If I drop the tray, the illusion breaks
So I smile through the tremors and the secret shakes
Is everything to your satisfaction?
Is everything to your satisfaction?
More water?
More wine?
I’m fine
I’m fine
I’m fine