The Bill
Her side of the table. From where she sat, everything was taken care of and she never had to lift a finger, because I kept putting it on my tab and never showed her the bill. That's on me as much as anyone.
Yay!
Oh, look at the service, look at the spread!
You treated me like a queen in the bed
You pulled out the stops, you opened the store
You gave me the lot and then gave me some more
I didn't have to lift a finger or thumb
I just lay back and waited for the kingdom to come
You’re such a professional, you’re such a dear
The Employee of the Month for the whole damn year!
So put it on the plastic, put it on the tab
I’ll take every ounce of the love that you grab
I’m a high-cost item, I’m a luxury brand
And I love the way that I feel in your hand
Don't show me the invoice, don't show me the bill
I know that you’re empty, but I’ve had my fill
I’m taking the pleasure, you take the sink
Pour me another expensive drink! (Cha-ching!)
The fireworks popped and the show was a blast
I got what I came for, loud and hard and fast
Now I’m feeling sleepy, I’m feeling so light
So you can clean up and turn out the light
Don't look for a tip, honey, don't be a bore
The privilege of serving me should be enough score
Wash off your hands and go back to your chair
I’m already dreaming, I’m not even there
So put it on the plastic, put it on the tab
I’ll take every ounce of the love that you grab
I’m a high-cost item, I’m a luxury brand
And I love the way that I feel in your hand
Don't show me the invoice, don't show me the bill
I know that you’re empty, but I’ve had my fill
I’m taking the pleasure, you take the sink
Pour me another expensive drink! (Cha-ching!)
The check is on the table, face down in the dark
I checked the box, I hit the mark
But looking at the total... ooh, that’s a lot of zeros
But someone has to pay for the conquering heroes
So I’ll just slip out the back while you wipe down the glass
Catch you on the flip side!
Thanks for the class!
Hey, Waiter!
She’s gone
She’s gone
She’s gone
Dine and dash
Total crash