Good News
This preacher started life as a character my DM played back when I was the one running a game. He had some very confused ideas about what the good dragon god actually does, mostly involving setting everyone on fire, and he preached them with total joy. The good news is you're doomed.
I have good news!
You're going to hell!
The greatest lord of all that's good
Bahamut is his name
Burninating evil doers
Is his claim to fame
He burninates the goblins
He burninates the trolls
He burninates both you and me
That's how the great lord rolls
His scales shine bright like platinum
His wings can block the sky
You'd best repent before he comes
In his righteous flames we'll die
He burninates the peasants
He burninates the kings
He's burninating everyone
That's why we all can sing
Behold the great lord Bahamut
He cleans the land of filth
He'll sanitize our souls burned clean
A better world rebuilt
He burninates the microbes
He burninates the grass
He burninates the beaches
And leaves them sparkling glass
I have good news!
You're going to hell!
Glory to Bahamut
Or my name's not Nikolai
I come to bring you good news
Together we will fry
He burninates the treetops
He burninates the fields
He's burninating everything
Bahamut doesn't yield
He's the greatest good one
The mighty dragon last
When everything is burned away
And all of us are ash
He burninates the elven
He burninates the dwarves
He burninates the dragons
That's why he is the lord
I have good news!
You're going to hell!
He burns! He burns!
He burns! He burns!
Good news!
What's that news?
You're going to hell!
Aw, shucks
Don't worry
I'll save you a seat
I'll save you a seat