Big Swinger
Wei's song, and it's entirely about the size of his weapon, which other people need two hands to swing and he handles with one. It's about the weapon. Probably. (He did end up with Emeric Proud's own sword, which had weird and wildly inconsistent plot powers.)
Oh, what do you have there, Wei? Ow! It burned me!
What do you mean you guess I'm not man enough to handle it?
Not everyone can handle
The gift Wei's got in hand
Long and smooth and gleaming
Unique in all the land
From flies to slimes to demons
Wei's got what you need
He'll pull from behind his belt
The biggest that you've seen
Wei's a crazy monkey man
Well, maybe just a monk
Blessed by the gods the only way
He's got that in his trunk
It takes two hands for others
But Wei only needs one
When he gets those shiny eyes
It's time to have some fun
Everyone else drops it
When they pick it up
But Wei can handle it all right
‘Cause he likes to
Wei’s a crazy monkey man
Wei's awful at breakfast
But you should taste his mash
The way he beats potatoes
Is a super smash
Wei's a crazy monkey man
Well maybe just a monk
Blessed by the gods the only way
He's got that in his trunk
Wei's a crazy monkey man
Well maybe just a monk
Blessed by the gods the only way
He's got that in his trunk
If he just puts the tip in
They shimmy shake explode
Wei just gets a distant look
Then walks on down the road
I don't know how he does it
Seems strange for a man like him
Glowing holy beat downs
And a sword as black as sin
Wei's a crazy monkey man
Well maybe just a monk
Blessed by the gods the only way
He's got that in his trunk
Fel’Wei's last of the bloodline
Blessed by the gods but just a monk
Doesn't know where he came from
But damn he brings the funk
Fel’Wei's last of the bloodline
A sword from Akenraat
It took down the Dreadlord
But Wei's cool doesn't snap
No Wei's cool doesn't snap
And he likes to