He's Not Heavy (He's a Halfling)
A love song for our light-fingered halfling. If it was shiny, it was his, and there was no point arguing. Then he started looting tattoos off people, and things got weird. Every party has one, and ours was the best.
Can't keep his fingers to himself
Don't show your shinies out on a shelf
Jasper's all quick and nimble, too
Blink your eyes and he'll get you
Pocket change, knives, or even gems
If it shines, it belongs to him
Nothing is safe from Jasper's greed
To build his legend is his need
Jasper, just a little guy
Crashing in and changing lives
Upside down or swinging in
Watch your back, he might take your skin
Somehow he's always where you're not
Sneaking around he's hard to spot
Watch the ceiling and the walls
He'll slip down a rope unless he falls
Got all the water you could ever drink
How did he get it? How do you think?
He stole it, of course, while his buddy Jim
Talked the mark's attention in
Jasper, just a little guy
Crashing in and changing lives
Upside down or swinging in
Watch your back, he might take your skin
It started with salvage, or so he claims
Now collectin' tattoos is his newest game
But not on himself, no, that's too gauche
He stitches 'em together into a cloak
Amazing Techni-colors, each one's unique
If you need an original, he's who you seek
Just jingle your sack if it's full of coin
Then wait for him to find art to purloin
Jasper, just a little guy
Crashing in and changing lives
Upside down or swinging in
Watch your back, he might take your skin
Jasper, not so bad a guy
Lookin' for art, not takin' lives
One quick swipe and he's gone again
'Cause people can live without their skin
Yeah, people can live without their skin!