The Demon and the Door

Too anxious to talk to anyone as himself, he puts on the Demon Lord's crown and speaks through the role. He's the part of me that hid behind a persona to get through a room full of people, until I was too exhausted to hold up the mask anymore.

Just a quiet little room, the only place I'm free
The only one who's ever really, truly known is me
But the world is loud and hungry, it's knocking at the door
A thousand judging faces, I can't take it anymore
They're waiting for an answer, a word, a single sign
This fragile, broken, worthless little soul of mine

So I take a breath and close my eyes and count to three
And I become the only thing that they will ever see...

And I wear the Demon's crown, and I speak the words of might
And I hide inside the shadow of his long and endless night
But the terror's always with me, a whisper in the dark
Is it worse to be the monster, or to be the easy mark?
I am the king of my own cage, the master of the lie
And I don't know which is worse, the living or the lie I live and die

I stand up straight and tall, and let the power start to flow
I become the perfect monster that they think they know
A voice of booming thunder, a glare of burning fire
The king of a forgotten age, the lord of their desire
They kneel before the persona, they tremble at the name
And I am safe inside the beautiful and terrifying game

But every word's a performance, every gesture is a test
And there's a screaming, silent panic in the hollow of my chest...

And just for a second, I wish that I could be
Just who I am, in a quiet room, with someone next to me
Who isn't scared, who doesn't kneel, who sees the boy inside
The lonely, broken, worthless kid with nowhere left to hide

...the lie I live and die...
...which one is the lie...
...am I...?

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