The Suture Song

When the pressure builds, I reach for the saddest song I know and turn it up. Letting the music open the wound is how I get it to close. This one is a monument to those songs and what they mean to me.

There's a pressure building up behind my eyes

A symphony of all my own goodbyes
Another hairline fracture, another paper cut
A feeling in my chest that I can't open up

But I've got a secret, I've got a little trick
When the walls are closing in and I'm feeling sick
I reach for the volume, and I reach for the pain
To feel the bitter wash of a cleansing rain

So I tear my heart open with a melody
Let the poison all bleed out in front of me
I find the words that hurt, I find the notes that burn
It's the only way I know I'll ever learn
Then I sew myself shut with a needle and thread
Made of a final chorus ringing in my head
It's a bittersweet healing, it's a beautiful scar
Just another battle in a one-man war

Some people run from ghosts, they run from their past
They're looking for a shelter that was ever built to last
But I've learned that the monster that is chasing me down
Is the only thing that keeps my feet on the ground

Yeah, I've got a secret, I've got a little trick
When the world is just a blur and I'm losing it
I reach for the volume, and I reach for the pain
To feel the bitter wash of a cleansing rain

This is my acceptance, this is my release
A moment of violence to find a moment of peace
It's broken, I know it, but it's all that I've got
To tie all my loose ends into a Gordian knot

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