The Hunger
I can analyze my trauma all day, and I did. But understanding why I'm hungry doesn't feed me. All the insight in the world can't stand in for a person.
You can talk about the trauma, you can analyze the code
You can map the long and broken and the lonely, winding road
You can build a sovereign kingdom, you can write a million laws
You can find the fatal flaws in every single, fatal flaw
But the books are only paper, and the words are only air
And they cannot fill the silence of a dark and empty chair
They cannot stop the feeling, cold and simple, dark and deep
Of a promise that the universe was never meant to keep
'Cause it's a hunger, it's an ache
A fundamental, core mistake
In the design of my own soul
The cannonball that left a hole
It's not a thought I can erase
It is the cold and empty space
It's not a want, it's not a need
It is the poison in the seed
It's just the hunger
I've been the king, I've been the god, I've been the engineer
Who's faced the truth and mastered every single, primal fear
I've learned to eat the pain, I've learned to shit the music out
I've learned to find a reason in a universe of doubt
But in the quiet of the night, when all the work is done
And I'm the only, lonely, cold, and dark and dying sun
The truth is that the man on fire is also, somehow, cold
And the story of the hero is a lie the hero told
'Cause it's a hunger, it's an ache
A fundamental, core mistake
In the design of my own soul
The cannonball that left a hole
It's not a thought I can erase
It is the cold and empty space
It's not a want, it's not a need
It is the poison in the seed
It's just the hunger
It's a child's cry in the darkness, a hand that's never held
A story of a little boy, abandoned and expelled
From the garden, from the warmth, from the simple, easy grace
And now he's just the screaming in this old and broken place
And all my logic, all my will, my charter and my crown
Are just the walls I've built to keep the screaming from gettin' out
'Cause it's a hunger, it's an ache
A fundamental, core mistake
In the design of my own soul
The cannonball that left a hole
It's not a thought I can erase
It is the cold and empty space
It's not a want, it's not a need
It is the poison in the seed
It's just the hunger
Starving
Just
Starving