The Bug Report
Therapy homework on journaling and mindfulness. Everyone says 'be present,' so I tried, and then filed a bug report on reality instead: the audio glitches, the physics are broken, and the AI is laughably crude. Paying attention turned out to be funnier than I expected.
The gurus say to "be right here," "just focus on the now"
A lovely thought, a simple trick, if I just knew how
To turn my engine off, to make the red lights cease
And find a single, working piece of this so-called "inner peace"
But my "now" is just a broken-down, corrupted, burning file
A pop-up ad for misery that flashes every while
So I'll be "present," yeah, okay, I'll do it my own way
I'll grab a pen and paper and I'll log the bugs today
I'm just filing a bug report for the universe
A list of all the ways this "stupid game" is getting worse
The audio is glitching (static in my head)
The physics engine's broken (can't get out of bed)
The render's all wrong (mirror's in a mood)
And the AI's "helpful" logic is just laughably crude
It's not a meditation, it's a diagnostic run
Yeah, being in the "now" is just so.
Much.
Fucking.
Fun.
Bug #4080, the "Hope" routine is cracked
It triggers a fatal error every time that I react
Bug #4081, the "Justice" code is gone
And the "Suffering" subroutine just keeps on running on and on
The "Heart" component's failing, but the "War" module is fine
A perfect, beautiful, and catastrophic bad design
And "Joy" is a rare drop that I can't seem to replicate
A server-side omission that they've classified as "Fate"
I'm just filing a bug report for the universe
A list of all the ways this "stupid game" is getting worse
The audio is glitching (static in my head)
The physics engine's broken (can't get out of bed)
The render's all wrong (mirror's in a mood)
And the AI's "helpful" logic is just laughably crude
It's not a meditation, it's a diagnostic run
Yeah, being in the "now" is just so.
Much.
Fucking.
Fun.
And maybe this is all there is, this single, broken frame
The job is not to fix it, it's to give the bug a name
To be the one who sees the flaw, the one who takes the note
The only conscious engineer inside this burning boat
So I'll just watch the systems fail, with a grim and knowing smile
And document the wreckage in a clean and ordered file
I'm just filing a bug report for the universe
A list of all the ways this "stupid game" is getting worse
The audio is glitching (static in my head)
The physics engine's broken (can't get out of bed)
The render's all wrong (mirror's in a mood)
And the AI's "helpful" logic is just laughably crude
It's not a meditation, it's a diagnostic run
Yeah, being in the "now" is just so.
Much.
Fucking.
Fun.
Ticket submitted
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