Just This
The numbers from my doctors were bad, and I couldn't fix them that morning. So I made coffee in my favorite cup and let this one moment be enough. That's mindfulness when it's actually hard.
The heart is running at a thirty-three percent deficit.
Another goddamn kick in the nads
The social matrix has returned a negative result.
She doesn't see me, she never sees me…
All logical paths have been calculated to a failure state.
Just wanna drive away, just run out of gas…
The system is untenable. The conclusion is foregone.
So tired, just so fucking tired...
But the coffee's in my favorite cup, the rain is on the glass
And this one, single, stupid, and beautiful moment has to pass
So fuck it, I'm here, I'm here, I'm HERE, just for a little while
Not a hero, not a victim, not a reason for a smile
It isn't good, it isn't bad, it isn't a release
It's just the quiet, holy, and the simple truth of this
The physical decay is accelerating. The timeline is in doubt.
Taste pennies, chest hurts, is this it?...
The external world remains a hostile and parasitic entity.
Just another Tuesday, just another fucking Tuesday…
All attempts at communication have resulted in further data loss.
She doesn't get it, she will never get it…
The engine is running on a fuel that is also a corrosive.
Burn, just burn, just burn...
But the cat is sleeping on the chair, the dust is in the light
And this one, single, ordinary and pathetic, holy night
So fuck it, I'm here, I'm HERE, I'm HERE, just for a little while
Not a hero, not a victim, not a reason for a smile
It isn't good, it isn't bad, it isn't a release
It's just the quiet, holy, and the simple truth of this
I am not looking for an answer…
God, I need an answer…
I am not waiting for a sign…
Just give me one good sign…
Just the simple, sovereign feeling that this single breath is mine…
Is it even mine? Is any of this even mine?...
But the coffee's in my favorite cup, the rain is on the glass
And this one, single, stupid, and beautiful moment has to pass
So fuck it, I'm HERE, I'm HERE, I'm HERE, just for a little while
Not a hero, not a victim, not a reason for a smile
It isn't good, it isn't bad, it isn't a release
It's just the quiet, holy, and the simple truth of THIS!