The Queen of the Fortress
Her side of the story. She thought the walls were strong and her king was sure of himself, and she never saw the war I was fighting behind my eyes. I wrote it to try to understand what all this looked like from where she stood.
I thought the walls were strong enough, I thought the gate was barred
I thought I'd built a life of love inside a castle yard
You were the stone, you were the shield, the king upon the throne
The one sure thing I'd ever feel, the only home I've known
I didn't see the quiet war you fought behind your eyes
I didn't know the man I swore to love was a disguise
And I am just a woman who has only learned to hide
Who built a fortress in your heart and pulled the world inside
My only skill is holding on, my only prayer is stay
And I don't know who I become if you should turn away
'Cause my love was just a blanket for the winter of your soul
And your silence was the price I paid to make my own world whole
I was the girl who learned to please, the girl who learned to mend
The one who'd fall down to her knees to make the fighting end
I was the one who took the blame, the one who bore the shame
And never learned to speak the name of my own, secret flame
I took your strength, I made you carry all the weight of me
I didn't know that to be buried is not the same as free
'Cause I am just a woman who has only learned to hide
Who built a fortress in your heart and pulled the world inside
My only skill is holding on, my only prayer is stay
And I don't know who I become if you should turn away
'Cause my love was just a blanket for the winter of your soul
And your silence was the price I paid to make my own world whole
I want to be the woman who can dance barefoot in green
The queen who's not afraid to be a little wild, a little mean
I want to be the one who stands beside you in the fire
Not just the quiet, frightened girl who's drowning in desire
To keep the one, safe, perfect thing she's ever learned to trust
Before it all just turns to dust... it all just turns to dust
And I'm so sorry
I'm so scared
Please don't leave me
I wasn't prepared
For a king who'd rather burn
Than be a liar