The Half-Life

I went into the darkness, with the lead inside my soul
To find the fabled alchemist, the story made me whole
I built a fire in my heart, a furnace for the pain
I swore I'd make a work of art, and never be the same
I worked the forge for forty years, I learned the secret rites
I burned away my childish fears in long and sleepless nights

But I'm sorry for the thing I've made, this heavy, glowing stone
I'm sorry for the promises on which our lives were thrown
I didn't make you gold, my love, a treasure to be sold
I made a new and terrible thing, that's heavy, dark, and cold
It's not the poison of the lead, it's something new and true
But the half-life of my broken heart is poison just for you
This is a half life

You ask me for the simple warmth, a hearth-fire, clean and bright
But I'm a cold and humming thing, that glows green in the night
You feel the chill when you get close, a sickness in the air
The final, tragic overdose of a love that isn't fair
I thought this power would be the key to finally set me free
Instead it's just a purer form of my own tragedy

And I'm sorry for the thing I've made, this heavy, glowing stone
I'm sorry for the promises on which our lives were thrown
I didn't make you gold, my love, a treasure to be sold
I made a new and terrible thing, that's heavy, dark, and cold
It's not the poison of the lead, it's something new and true
But the half-life of my broken heart is poison just for you
This is a half life

And every doctor, every friend, who tries to understand
They just see a simple, broken man, with a tremor in his hand
They do not see the core inside, the energy, the might
The beautiful and terrible, and world-destroying light
I am a god of my own slow decay
And I just want to make you stay away

Stay away
I’m so afraid
Please don’t go