Malfunctioning Meat

I spent a month deconstructin' my soul
Fought a forty-year war, finally took control
I mapped the tragic kingdom, I named the ancient gods
I did a damn Fermi estimate to calculate the odds!
I built a brand new blueprint, a cathedral for my pain
Did a cost analysis of the loss and of the gain
I was a king, a wizard, an architect, a star!
Then I finally got you, naked, in my car
(Well, okay, the bed, but car rhymes better)

And the spirit was willing, the moment was right
Had a goddess in my hands in the pale moonlight
I was ready for the glory, ready for the trick
Then I looked down and saw my malfunctioning meat stick
Yeah, the gods all laughed, a cosmic joke
My one and only happy button broke

My therapist is helping, my wife is on the team
We're building a new future, a bright and shining dream
Of honesty and healing, of a new and better way
I'm doin' push-ups every single, goddamn, achin' day!
I'm learnin' my new love songs, I'm singin' all my parts
I'm fillin' up the cracks with gold inside our broken hearts
I am a god of my own life, a sovereign and a king!
But my scepter doesn't seem to want to do a goddamn thing

'Cause the spirit was willing, the moment was right
Had a goddess in my hands in the pale moonlight
I was ready for the glory, ready for the trick
Then I looked down and saw my malfunctioning meat stick
Yeah, the gods all laughed, a cosmic joke
My one and only happy button broke

It's the beta blockers, it's the stress
It's my whole damn life, it's just a mess
It's a final, perfect, cosmic screw
From a universe that's mocking you!
You do the work, you pay the price!
You try to be profound and nice!
And in the end, it's just your dick
That can't get hard
Man, that's just sick

So here's to all the broken kings
And all the joy a limp dick brings
To all the gods with feet of clay
We'll get 'em up some other day
Yeah, some other day
Maybe
We'll see
Shit