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Escape to Red Lobster (the Endless Shrimp Song)
Written with Karen Stegner
Another parody from my mom, this time of that classic song about a couple who each go looking to cheat and end up answering each other's personal ad. Hers swaps the affair for a restaurant commercial: sick of baloney, and endless shrimp turns out to be the answer to everything. It's a silly one, and I love that she wrote it.
I was tired of baloney
We'd been eating too long
In the cupboard I'm looking
There's a dried-out ding-dong
Don't want to go to the store
Turned on the TV instead
Then on came a commercial
And the spokesman he said
If you like Pina Colada
A sauce for shrimp you can dip
If you're not into fast food
But a place you can tip
If you like trying different recipes
Breaded, grilled or scampi
It's the special you've waited for
Come enjoy it you'll see
I didn't think about my diet
I know that sounds kind of bad
But I could not think about eating
A boring meal, that's just too sad
So I called up the restaurant
Reserved a table for two
They were booked until twelve o'clock
I said, Oh, well, that will do
'Cause I like Pina Colada
A sauce for shrimp you can dip
I'm not much into health food
For the biscuits I flip
I've got to meet you by tomorrow
Noon, when I will open your door
At a place called Red Lobster
Where we can meet once more
So I waited with high hopes
Then you parked in a space
I knew that smile in an instant
I saw the hunger on your face
Door opens and a stomach growls
Was it me? Oh, it's you
And we laughed for a moment
And I said, I always knew
That you like Pina Colada
A sauce for shrimp you can dip
And the taste of the ocean
And a cocktail to sip
That you like trying different recipes
Breaded, grilled or scampi
It's the special you've waited for
Come enjoy it with me
If you like Pina Colada
A sauce for shrimp you can dip
If you're not into fast food
But a place you can tip
If you like trying different recipes
Breaded, grilled and scampi
It's the special you've waited for
Come enjoy it with me